Currently Listening Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness By Coheed & Cambria Welcome Home see related

*my weekend!*

omg! so I am seriously having one of the best weekends ever! yayayay It all started on Friday because I spent the entire day with penny and her 40some horses.  I had such a random day with her.....ie pushing the car  and chasing pheasants!!! lmao!

So then I come home and got to talk to aaron for ages, we hadn't done that in awhile! I also had an awesome conversation with....you'll never guess......Adric!!  It was like 4am over there in Iraq, but we still chatted for awhile! It was totally cool talking to him and hearing that he's doing fine, just bored, and he's still safe.

omg and today was just plain bloody brilliant!  I spent the entire day with 3 of my most favorite shmucks ever!!!  First, aaron, ben and I all hang out all afternoon at Mt. Pleasant so of course it was totally grooby, awesome, extravagant and oh so prfound! lmao We had some great conversations and, lol, laughs!

After that I went to Lindsay's and had  a scrumptious dinner with her family and grandparents. (and of course we blasted "crazy bitch" in "her" saweet car!  ) The the two of us went to church and heard Aaron, Ben and Alan perform, (oh we met up with Bethany there as well!), where they were all totally fabulous!

So that's my weekend thus far! Good times good times! I'm loving it!

I hope ya'll have a fabulous Easter Sunday!

Cheers my friends,

della!!!

(PS) I forget to mention that I am on a serious caffenine high and can't sleep.....oh and I finally got some sun! Buh bye Pale Princess, hello Bronzed Babe!

Currently Listening City of Evil By Avenged Sevenfold see related

Believe it or not, yesterday was my 18th birthday!  It def. wasn't at all what I was expecting, mainly because I was sick and in bed pretty much all day.  Talk about sucky! But I'm feeling slightly better today, at least my fever of almost 105 went down, but yeah, it was crazy. Blegh! I did get to eat dirt cake .....although it didn't have much of a taste.....hmm oh well, there's still leftovers!

My parents gave me this beautiful Mystic Fire Topaz necklace for my birthday, it's so pretty! I actually won't get it until tommorow, (i guess they had to order it or something), but I saw pictures of it, and I've always loved mystic fire jewelry, so I can't wait!

Oh, and now I can get my long awaited drivers license! How exciting! I was hoping to get it yesterday but, well, obviously that didn't work out! Once I get the license all I'll need is my OWN car....that's where I'm hoping my grandparents will come in.......haha

So, I think I'm going to go try and eat something.  Love to ya'll -

della

Currently Listening Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge By My Chemical Romance see related

That's it. I've had it. I'm not quitting, heck no, but I am DONE playing their mind games.  I swear, I am finished.

I was completely and totally torn apart today. Completely. I've been through so much before, and it's been so bad at times you CAN'T even imagine. Today was just awful though.  For the first time, I lost it, totally, but not in front of them. Absolutely not.  I just went home bawling.

I just want to get some things straight -

    If you've given up on me, then you can bet that I've given up on you, I swear. And with that, all of my respect for you has gone, this means I have no respect at all left for you. Just try getting THAT back from me.

  Are you in my head?? Do you even know what goes on in there? I didn't think so. Don't you ever, ever, EVER, tell me I'm not trying and giving my best.  I always give my personal best, no matter what the situation.

  And lastly, I AM ME! ME ME ME! You have NO RIGHT to even try to change me. I am sick and tired of trying to be what you want, because that is wrong! Do you realize how much you've screwed me up? Thanks to you, I have to find who I am again.  And that saddest thing about that is I don't even know who that is anymore. So thank you! Thanks a bunch!

This is my life, my style, my choice! If you don't like that, then you can just kiss my butt and get the hell out of my face and my way.  I will not let you or anyone else ever get to me like that again.  NEVER again. I will not let you ruin my self esteem and take away the confidence I have left. Because I know that I will have the oppourtunity to do whatever I want in life because of that confidence, but only if I keep it.

While I was getting torn apart, and yes it was in front of 6 other people, an amazing friend of mine wrote this to me:

"You have everything you need! Don't try to look better than your competition. Bear your soul and dance your hardest and it will outshine all the others who are JUST DANCING."

How incredible is that?! Between those words and everything my mom told me.  I've realized that they are not the world. I still have the whole world ahead of me, just waiting for me to do whatever I want and be amazing at it. I'm going to face that world BEING MYSELF, in just 3 months. I am not going to let them ruin it for me, they're just going to realize how stupid they were.  They've lost me, I'm finished with them, being what they want is dishonest to myself, and I at least owe myself that honesty.

"The sweetest revenge is SUCESS"  - they'll see soon enough.

"Being honest with yourself is all that matters, you cannot be what you're not"

"A good actor/actress/performer puts themself first, that's being REAL"

Thank you for listening, it's been a rough day and I am so bummed. But I'll be ok, I promise.  

della

Currently Listening Three Days Grace By Three Days Grace see related

I know my xanga looks naked but just so ya'll know, I deleted all of old xanga entries so Adric could leave me comments...lol It's all because of that darn army.  Yeah well, I shouldn't have been speaking so much *french* on here...... But, Adric, my friend you must be making me a better person, or maybe it's just the army....hmmm

 I can't even believe today is Superbowl Sunday, I don't even like football, just the commercials.... So you know just  how lame my family is - we've been tivo-ing the entire game and have only watched the commercials and the 'Stones play.......lol  It's been freaking awesome though!

So yeah anywayz, I've been pretty bad at keeping up with my xanga, so if you get bored - get a myspace and check me out.  (there are some really cool pictures of me on there too......lol)

Well, that's all for now!

xoxox

della!